Need I say any more?


One of the most important rituals you will ever partake in is the daily care and maintenance of your sausage and cabbages.

And while the whole is no greater than the sum of its parts (even if you’re seriously packin’, like yours truly) special care and attention should always be given to your man eggs.

Also known by doctors, scientists and other people with no sense of humor, by the scientific term “testicles” or “testes”, or as most commonly referred to by regular joes as “balls”, “nuts” or as I like to refer to them, my “bro-varies”, keeping those bad boys nice and tidy can be the difference between putting a special part of you into a special part of your lady friend – or being relegated to jerkin’ your gerkin’ to the best of PornHub.

To be fair, to do so to the approval and satisfaction of the fairer sex only requires washing them thoroughly during proper bathing or showering at least once a day – especially after any activities that could result in schweddy balls.

However, if you want to go the extra mile and really make your spunk bunkers shine, I highly recommend the complete line of ballwash products, which you can find at They truly are made to make your boys smell good enough to gargle.

So, there you have it.

There is simply no better way to keep your landing gear good to go whenever the – er, need arises.


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