Having all four of your wisdom teeth removed sans novocaine is more fun than commuting on this bad boy.

If there’s a worse highway in America than Highway 95, someone please let me know so I can avoid it at all costs. It sucks major league ass whether you’re going north or south and it takes the excitement out of any road trip, no matter where you’re headed. Why? Because you always have the unnerving inevitable truth in the back of the mind that when all the fun and games are over, you’re going to have to get back behind the wheel again and get back on that asphalt nightmare and do it all over again in the opposite direction. Which is precisely why I’m saving up for a helicopter. Hell, a blimp would get me home faster.

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