Gentlemen, make a note: You cannot engage in OMB without the proper hardware for your manly viewing pleasure. Hardware like this humongous, magnificent 4K Samsung for instance. Now you know you want one of these bad boys illuminating your manly activities.

 

If you’re ready for some football, and really, by now, who isn’t, break out your Favre jersey, fire up your fantasy football app, and cop a squat in the best seat in the house. Monday Night Football debuts tonight. It’s the perfect encore to the events of last Thursday night, the official start of the NFL 2017 season, that kicked off with reigning Super Bowl Champs, the New England Patriots hosting the perennial underdog, Kansas City Chiefs.

What could possibly be more deliciously manly to kick off Official Male Bonding Season than home made chili? Not a damn thing.

On the surface, this may have just seemed like the first game of yet another season of the greatest sport on the planet, but for millions of men around the country, in sports bars, living rooms, dorm rooms, Man Caves and other places where men congregate, it was so much more than that. It was the official return of Organized Male Bonding, aka, OMB.

It ain’t pretty, but it sure am tasty!

What is Organized Male Bonding, exactly? It’s a manly, testosterone fueled phenomenon that occurs whenever men schedule time to fraternize together, in conjunction with some event that men want to fraternize together while watching. Usually this involves an action-packed team sport like football or basketball.

The secret is to hide the cheese UNDER the chili if you want to end up with melty, creamy, cheesy deliciousness. Write that down.

Not only is Organized Male Bonding the perfect opportunity to practice your secret handshake and brush up on your mano y mano social skills, it’s also the perfect excuse to eat like you’re going to the electric chair. This means, if you’ve been lassoed into eating healthy by your significant other or your general practitioner, for a few hours, you can pretend that never happened.

I suggest delectable goodness like chicken wings, chili with all the fixin’s, assorted chips and dips, and the tasty ice-cold beverages of your choice, to wash it all down and make room for more. In other words, the kind of grub you see here. Sure, the event itself is the focal point, but the grub is what seals the deal. (Just try getting your buddies to show up without the aforementioned victuals and see what the head count is.)

And no OMB is complete without the proper arena to hold it in and the proper hardware to take in the spectacle it takes place around. I recommend a Man Cave of your choosing, however, if that’s not possible, any room big enough to hold a massive TV, an enormous viewing area with the requisite seating and enough distance between you and those not partaking of the official festivities, will do.

The best thing about the return of Organized Male Bonding is that it lasts from now until next February. So, tell the wife and kids to make other plans on Thursdays, Sundays and Mondays, from this point forward. Because, on behalf of OMB, your extracurricular activities are spoken for. And not a moment too soon.

 

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