Sure, it’s got teeth, but they don’t bite. Promise.


It’s 2019, Chief. If you’re still walking around looking like a damned dirty ape, it’s high time for you to get yourself and your act together.

NEWSFLASH: There is such a thing as having too much hair and not just on your head and all up in your grill.

That’s right. I said it.

Uh huh. I went there. And by there, you know the “there” I mean.

TRANSLATION: If you aren’t 100% sure that you have your hair affairs in order below the belt you can be 100% damned sure that you don’t. And even if you are, you probably are still not being completely honest with yourself.

So, do yourself a favor and check yourself before you neglect yourself for one moment longer. If the hair down there is anywhere as close to as long as the hair up there, keep reading. If not for common decency and all that is right, do it for the woman or women in your life.

(And if you don’t have a woman or women in your life, then you DAMN sure better keep reading because I might just be getting to the root of the problem in that department with what you’re about to read.)

Long story short, how much hair you have on your man parts is not an indicator of how manly you are.

To be more direct: If you want to be more desirable to the fairer sex, the less hair you have on your man parts, the better.

Now, I wrote about the importance of manscaping a few years ago. To refresh your memory, you can check out my original posting here, but the basic gist was this: If you think keeping yourself free of excess fur on your person makes you less than manly, you need to think again, hairy.

Having a full head of hair and sporting facial hair is more of a fashion statement than it is a proclamation of your wily manhood. Bald men and men with no facial hair can hold their own in the manliness department against the most hirsute of men.

And unless you’re living at the North Pole or some other godforsaken snow and ice encrusted climes, ask just about any woman you want to make the beast with two back with and she will surely tell you this simple truth – the less body hair you have, better.

So, now that we have that out of the way, how does one get all that excess hair out of the way?

Well, you can use any method that floats your boat.


Straight razor.

Razor and shaving cream.

You get the idea. But if you really want to go all out when you give yourself a new look down on your hang down, you’re going to want to wrangle the perfect manscaping package for your package.

My suggestion? Check out the goods at

They have everything you need to keep the royal jewels in shipshape from the baby batter billows below to the one-eyed meat muscle main mast above.

For they have everything you need to keep your trouser steed teed up and ready to rise to the occasion and make you proud.

If that doesn’t improve your social life, try brushing and gargling some mouthwash.

Hey, you’ve got to crawl before you ball, playa.


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