This isn’t really shit. This is only a facsimile of what shit looks like. Sorry for the confusion.
What, you ask, is the perfect shit? Is there even such a thing? Well, since you asked, I’ll tell you. Why, yes. Yes, there is such a thing. The perfect shit is one that feels so good, upon finishing said shit, you feel as if it would almost be an unspeakable crime to ruin the moment by wiping your ass. A shit doesn’t get any more perfect than that. Class. Over.
