If you had fun, you didn’t win. Unless, of course, you actually won.


Never, ever let your child think it’s okay to receive a trophy just for showing up. Sure, if they’re under 10, it’s okay to let your son or daughter accept a trophy. Just don’t ever let them think that accepting a trophy when they don’t place at least in the top 3, is ever acceptable. I don’t know whose bright idea this was, but if I ever do find out, if they’re alive I’m going to punch them in the throat. If they’re dead, I’m going to piss on their grave. Two times.


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