If you have a sausage and cabbages and you participate in Black Friday Sales in any way, shape, or form, other than online shopping, you may as well just hand your Man Card over right now. Why? Surely you jest. That shit is shopping. You can try to qualify it any way you like, but no matter how you look at it, you are making a conscious decision to shop like a crazy person, surrounded by a shit ton of other crazy persons. Not only that, you have actually made a conscious decision to shop with other people, which means you could actually be recognized doing so. Why stop there? You may as well put on lipstick, heels and a Kate Spade handbag while you’re at it. Long story short, don’t even think about participating in this shit show unless you have ovaries.