Somebody Please Call The Fashion Police And Have Them Set Their Weapons To Kill
Attention, All Manly Men. Listen up: Apparently, there are some grown ass men out there (and you know who you are) who think wearing the equivalent of an adult onesie in broad daylight is okay. You read that right. And make no mistake about it, it is a onesie....
Live Your Life Like You Mean It
Henry David Thoreau famously wrote, "The mass of men live lives of quiet desperation.” I don’t know exactly what he meant, because I wasn’t inside his head when he wrote it, but I think the general gist is, for whatever reasons, most people don’t live the lives...
The Real Reason Men Love Fake Breasts
I don’t know about you, but I’m not a fan of artificial anything. Artificial sweetener. Artificial flavoring. Artificial coloring. And especially artificial breasts. I think a woman’s breasts are most appealing and most beautiful when they are 100% all...
Dear Pepsi: The Conversation Is Over
Dear Pepsi. WTF? No. Seriously. WTF? At one time, you were the soft drink brand that all others wanted to be. One of the biggest reasons for that was because of your advertising. You always seemed to know just what to say in your advertising. And perhaps more...
The Most Delicious Thing On A Sushi Menu Isn’t Raw Fish
I love sushi. It’s my favorite food to eat, period. In fact, I’m a sushi snob. I’ve eaten at some of the finest sushi restaurants in America. In LA. New York. Chicago. Austin. San Diego. Las Vegas. San Francisco. You get the idea. If it’s sushi, I will pretty...
A Message To Senders Of Unwanted Emails
This message goes out to all of those companies out there that send me and everyone else out there emails we never requested in the first place as a result of being included on some list we never signed up for. It's a response to the following message we...
Southern Barbecue Ain’t Got Nothing On This Barbecue
Barbecue in the big city has come a long way. No longer do you have to trek out into the sticks to find barbecue worthy of your barbecue jonesin’ taste buds. Not at all. In fact, the best barbecue you’re likely to find these days is right in the heart of some...
The IRS Ain’t Got Time For That
Sooner or later, it’s going to happen to you. How do I know this? It’s happened to me numerous times. Of course I can only be talking about one thing: That obligatory ubiquitous rite of passage known as fake IRS warnings. You know the kind. The phone calls from area...
Body Hair May Be Manly But It’s Not Sexy
For all of you men who already have a woman in your life who accepts you the way you are, so you have no plans to change a damn thing about you, no matter what I, or anyone else says, all I have to say is good for you. For the rest of you, I’m going to let you in on a...
At Five Guys It’s The Fries
Five Guys is famous for its hamburgers. And for good reason. They’re delicious. The burgers themselves are always served up hot and juicy. The toppings are fresh and prepared to perfection in just the right amount. Plus, you can get extra toppings, free of charge just...
When To Tip For Takeout
So, let me get this straight: I call your restaurant up and place an order to go and you give me the receipt to sign and you actually wonder whether or not a tip is forthcoming? First of all, tipping, unless there are 6 or more in your party, is a voluntary charge. A...
Advertising Sucks On YouTube Too
YouTube used to be awesome because you could skip those annoying ads after a few seconds of watching them. Not anymore. Now, if you watch just about anything on YouTube that’s more than a few minutes long, ads pop up in the middle of whatever you’re watching....
Free Classes Are Free: For A Price
Every time you turn around these days, you are inundated with advertisements from companies of all kinds trying to lure you out of the safety and comfort of your man cave to attend a “free 2-hour class”. You know the ones. Classes promising you how to get rich selling...
Why I Want To Flip The Birds The Bird
One of the things I love most about living in a rural area is the peace and quiet. I lived in New York City for 5 years and the noise was nonstop, even in the dead of night. It was almost as if the city itself was alive and the sounds were its lungs inhaling and...
Super Bowl LI
If you missed it, here’s what happened: Tom Brady completely dismantled the Atlanta Falcons and in the process leaving no doubt and no question about who the greatest quarterback of all time is. The. End. (And yes, I know I posted previously stating that Aaron Rodgers...
There’s No Such Thing As Imitation Crab Meat
This is a message to all you sushi restaurant owners, sushi chefs and waiters and waitresses out there who work at sushi restaurants who like to pretend that imitation crab meat in any way, shape, or form, in ANY WAY resembles or tastes like actual crab meat....
They Are Women, Hear Them Roar
A funny thing happened the day after the inauguration of the 45th President of the United States Of America on Friday, January 20th, 2017. More specifically, the American people decided to show up in literally DROVES the day AFTER the inauguration of the new POTUS....
Aaron Rodgers Is A God In Football Pads
If you saw what Aaron Rodgers did to the Dallas Cowboys, you now know what many football fans know to be true: Aaron Rodgers is simply not human. Arguably the greatest quarterback to ever step on a football field. Yeah, that’s right. You heard me. Even better than...