A Manly Reminder
NEWSFLASH: Just because you have testicles doesn’t mean you have balls. And just because you have a penis to complete the set, doesn’t make you a man. It takes a lot more than man giblets alone to make you a man. Hell, little boys have the same equipment. As do tiny...
Infidelity vs. Outfidelity
If you’re in a relationship with someone who has no desire to have sex with you and you KNOW it’s NEVER going happen ever again, and you finally decide to get it somewhere else, what do you call that? No really. What’s the term for that? Infidelity? I think...
Manliest Moments In Sports #345
Does this really need any explanation?
You’re Not Dead Yet
You are dying right now. Right this second. So am I. The truth of the matter is, from the moment you take your first breath in this world, the sand in the hourglass of your life is slowly accumulating all of the breaths leading up to the last one you will ever take....
There’s No Shame In My Manly Fame Game
Andy Warhol once said that there would come a time where everyone on earth would achieve 15 minutes of fame. How right he was, except he underguesstimated his figures by approximately 23 hours and 45 minutes X 24/7/365. What I mean by that is, now, thanks to social...
When It Comes To Man Caves One Size Doesn’t Fit All
Man Caves come in all shapes and sizes. Now, I don’t know how you feel about yours, but my Man Cave is awesome. And it’s huge. How huge? So huge it takes up the entire bottom floor of my home. So, not only does it have a ridiculously massive flat screen...
Real Men Wear Whatever The Hell They Want
Some men think that as a man, there are some colors that are strictly off limits. Same goes for certain articles of clothing. By that I mean, they believe that there’s an unwritten law that dictates that certain colors and certain things just shouldn’t be worn...
What Not To Watch If You’re Manly: A Guide – Part 1
Generally speaking, reality shows clearly targeted to women are to be avoided at all costs if you would like to hold onto your seat at the Roundtable Of Manliness. You know what kind of shows I’m referring to. You KNOW. But I’ll humor those of you who are a...
How To Execute The Proper Manly Handshake
For thousands of years, one of the most important manifestations of masculinity, manhood and manliness has been and continues to be that of the traditional greeting known as the handshake. While an easily understood and innately intuitive concept for the...
Manscaping Is Uber Manly
One of the most widely held beliefs of what constitutes manliness throughout recorded history has been the notion that the more hair one has, the more manly one is. Well, that may have been true during the time period when cavemen and dinosaurs were cavorting...
It’s Time To Make Your Entertainment Interactive
Being a Manly Man takes a lot out of you. It can manifest itself in many ways, most of which results in undue stress – especially for those of us who work for a living. So, the trick is, to play as hard as you work. And how you choose to play, is just as...
What Men Are Really Thinking
Dear Women: I know you really want to know “what men are thinking”. Well, I’m going to tell you. What we’re thinking is, that if we really wanted you to know what we’re thinking, we would tell you without you having to ask what we’re thinking. The End. You’re...
How To Shop Like A Manly Man
Step 1. Always remember that Manly Men do not in fact “go shopping”. Manly men go buying. If you think the two are synonymous, take a wild guess what time it is. (If you guessed time to hand over your Man Card, you are correct.) Step 2. See step 1. The End....
Embrace Your Manliness
Nothing should give you greater pride than your inherent Manliness. Nothing. Not that overpriced undersized import you drive. Not all that hardware you have in your trophy case that proves you really were the B.M.O.C back in the day. Not that little black book...
Maintain Your Manliness
Some men need to keep a close watch on their manliness, so as not to backslide to the point at which their manliness is no longer evident. Or nonexistent. Trust me, it happens to the best of you. This can be brought on by many things. Things such as: Being relegated...
When To Be Manly
You should be manly every waking moment. And if you can manage it, every sleeping moment, too. The. End.
How To Overcome Momentary Lapses Of Manliness
It can happen to the best of you. Those moments when, due to no fault of your own, you find yourself at a sudden loss of manliness. Maybe it strikes when your significant other has you hold her lady bag for her while she tries on new clothes. Maybe it happens during...
When To Act Manly
When should you act manly? Never. Your manliness should never be an act. With one exception: If you are an actor playing a part which calls for you to act manly, then and only then are you allowed to pretend to act like you have a pair even if you don’t in...