The New Extra Point Rule Rules
Extra points after touchdowns were scored in NFL games used to be a gimme. Hell, snakes could kick extra points from 10 yards. Not anymore. Now NFL kickers can no longer phone extra points in. Which means that now, candy ass kickers actually have to earn their...
Utz Cheese Balls Are Amaze Balls
They’re delicious. And they come in ginormous kegs at Target. That’s all you need to know about these delicious globes of cheesy deliciousness.
Cat Videos Are For Pussies
If you are ever caught sharing cat videos, ANYWHERE, you will IMMEDIATELY have your Man Card revoked, for life – maybe longer. Why? Because presumably, you have a dick and balls and assorted body hair. That’s why.
What You Can And Cannot Eat
As a manly man, there are certain things you cannot eat and keep your Man Card. Here are just a few to keep in mind: No chicken on pizza. No imitation crab meat. No mint ice cream of ANY kind. No American cheese. No candy corn. No turkey bacon. And yes, no...
Coconut Shampoo Is Awesome
August 29, 2016 Every now and then, even the manliest of men (like your truly for instance) have to wash their hair. And no, walking outside during thunderstorms and hurricanes don’t count. Sure, you want to get your hair clean, but that’s not the only reason. Hair is...
Soundbars Are A Sound Decision
August 22, 2016 If you want to experience a more powerful and immersive entertainment experience in your Man Cave, or any room in your domicile for that matter, you can’t go wrong by investing in a sound, sound bar set up. (Did you see what I did there?) Soundbars, in...
69
That’s my favorite number. And it’s not why you think. 69 is my favorite number because that’s the number of medals the U.S. Olympics team have won thus far in the Summer Olympic Games. When they have won 70 medals, 69 still still be my favorite number. And yeah, for...
The Perfect Shoes For Wide Dogs
If you have wide dogs like me, you know how hard it is to find shoes that fit your feet AND your style. Well, now there’s Wide Fit Skechers. They fit your feet and your style. And they just may be the most comfortable shoes you’ve ever worn. In fact, I’m just going to...
Hot Chocolate For Grownups
I wrote about this back in may and I’m bringing it back up again. If you’re all grown up and you love the IDEA of hot chocolate these days, more than the actual drink itself, I’ve got great news for you. If you’re all grown up and you love the IDEA of hot chocolate...
Why Myrtle Beach Is Nirvana
I always wondered why this beach, out of the dozens of beaches on the east coast seems to be the most popular. Then I went to check it out for myself. The answer was crystal clear, the moment I got into the water. Warm doesn’t BEGIN to describe it. It’s so warm, you...
Bacon Jerky Is The Only Jerky You Need
Just when I thought jerky couldn’t get any better, someone comes along and bequeaths the world the joys of bacon – in jerky form. If you haven’t partaken of this decadent iteration of pork perfection, beware: If you put a piece of this bacony goodness on the top of...
Sub Prime Day At Amazon
I’m a huge fan of Amazon and Amazon Prime. In fact, I’ve been an Amazon Prime Member since 2004. The 2-Day Shipping. The free photo storage. The data storage. The music service. And Prime Video is incredible. The thing about Prime Day, on the other hand,...
Happy Independence Day
This is a great day to be an American. And the worst day of the year to be a Native American. I wonder what they must be thinking when they see all of those fireworks celebrations. I’m just going to go out on a limb and take a wild guess that it’s nothing good.
The Only Way To Cop A Squat
A few months ago, I wrote article about the perfect shit. Well, now I’m going to tell you how to achieve said shit. I have two words for you: Squatty Potty. This miracle of underwater brownie making perfection gives you and your bunghole the perfect angle to easily...
So What If The Pittsburgh Penguins Beat The San Jose Sharks To Win The Stanley Cup
The Pittsburgh Penguins beat the San Jose Sharks 3-1 in Game 6 of the National Hockey League finals, winning their fourth Stanley Cup title. Call me when real penguins beat real sharks in their natural habitat and I’ll be impressed.
Microsoft To Buy LinkedIn For $8.5 Billion? Really?
Maybe you can explain this to me, but Microsoft just announced that it will acquire professional social networking site LinkedIn for $26 billion in cash. Um, the site is nice and it’s a great way to promote yourself and your brand, but $26 billion in cash? Really...
Why The Northern Great Barrier Reef Isn’t So Great Anymore
People who think global warming isn’t really a thing, then please do explain why the Great Barrier Reef in Australia is dying. Scientist say it’s because of bleaching. And what’s causing the bleaching? Well, mass bleaching of this kind is caused by, get this: global...
Humans: 1 Gorillas: 0
Unless you were on a wild animal safari, shooting lions or leopards or elephants in a barrel, by now you must have heard that Zookeepers in Cincinnati shot and killed a 450-pound gorilla named Harambe to rescue a 4-year-old boy who fell into its enclosure. Apparently,...