Respect What It Takes To Get True Respect
There’s a classic scene in “The Godfather” when Michael Corleone confronts his younger brother Fredo, after learning that it was he that was responsible for the hit Hyman Roth attempted to take out on him. The part I’m referring to specifically is when Fredo exclaims,...
The TSA Is Your Friend
If you travel by air as much as I do, being the International Manly Man Of Mystery that I am, I’m pretty sure I don't have to tell you how much just getting from one place to the other can be a major pain in the ass. It was always, thus. That asshole with the...
NFL Stands For Never Fan Loyal
The next time the NFL does something in the best interests of NFL fans, the cities its teams play in and the players – will be the first time.
Cranial Rectal Inversion Is Not An Option
It’s okay for you to do things your way. It’s okay for you to speak your mind. It’s okay to be opinionated. It’s okay to stand up for what you believe in. It’s okay for you to be yourself. It’s okay for you to do your thing. It’s okay for you to go against the...
Give Yourself A Hand
It matters not how blue your blood is or how serious and determined you are to maintain an air of decorum at all times – if you have a spinal chord, there will be times when you will have no recourse other than to go full on Caveman and eat with your hands. If you’re...
Text Messaging Is Not Manly
If you’re a guy who wants to maintain his status on the Mantle Of Manliness: No Texting Allowed. With the following exceptions: To arrange sex. To discuss sex you had. To pursue sex. To order food. (NOTE: Food must contain meat, preferably bacon.) To taunt someone in...
Bruce, Is That You?
I don’t have any problem with people who have confusion about their gender and their gender identity. Hell, at times, I feel so damn manly, it almost makes me cry that I wasn’t born with three penises. (Now, I ask you, how much fun would THAT be?) How an individual...
Don’t Get Caught With Your Pants Down
If you do now, or if you have ever worn your pants baggy, laggy or saggy in any way, shape, or form – please don’t read this blog anymore and please do not recommend it to anyone else you know. Because there must be some mistake that you even know about this...
The Death Penalty
Many people who are against the death penalty are of the opinion that it’s not a deterrent. To which I say, it deters the offenders who are put to death from committing their crimes again, does it not?
Reality Shows Suck And They’re Not Manly
The only reality shows a manly man should watch is one involving a playing field, jerseys with numbers on them and scoreboards. If I’ve written about this before, it’s because I can never stress this strongly enough. Get caught watching or talking about any reality...
PC? or Mac?
Mac. End of discussion. Moving on…
Participation Trophies Are For Losers
Never, ever let your child think it’s okay to receive a trophy just for showing up. Sure, if they’re under 10, it’s okay to let your son or daughter accept a trophy. Just don’t ever let them think that accepting a trophy when they don’t place at least in the top 3,...
Manly Erection Rules: Rule Number One
Never waste an erection. Why? You never know when you will no longer be able to produce an erection. When that happens, the last thing you’re going to want to be reminded of, is the time you let one get away from you.
Manly Rites Of Passage: When To Tell A Lie
It’s always a good idea to tell the truth. Except, of course, when it’s a bad idea to tell the truth. Whenever that happens, tell a lie. The truth shall set you free, but a lie shall help you enjoy said freedom.
Manly Rites Of Passage: When To Tell The Truth
Always tell the truth. Except when telling a lie will save you from any unnecessary drama that might be caused by telling the truth. And when you really think about it, isn’t all drama unnecessary? Exactly.
How To Write A Manly Love Letter
Unless you want to lose your mind, or your Man Card — or both, just do what I do: Go to a store. Buy a card. Sign your name under all the flowery words on said card. Place in envelope. Hand envelope to recipient. The end. See how easy that was?
Why Just Hunt When You Can Hunt Like A Manly Man?
If you really want to impress me with your manliness when you hunt, leave your shotgun, crossbow and rifle at home. There’s nothing manly about that. Any panty waist can bring a deer down with that kind of hardware. If you really want to show your wily...
Manly Sports Rules: Rule Number One
Choose a team to love. Choose a team to hate. (You simply cannot have one without the other.) Enjoy. Any questions?