February 29th: AKA, the worst time ever to be a single man
No, your eyes do not deceive you. This is a leap year. If you’re a man in a long term relationship and your girlfriend is wondering why you have not yet popped the question, run for the hills. Because according to Irish legend, this is the one day women can get...
Faux News Is Not News
This is for all you jackholes who continually post and repost fake news stories on social media sites. I’ll let you off the hook for anything you’ve posted before reading this. But from this point on, anything you post that isn’t true that you post as actual news? You...
A Tip For When You Tip
I don’t know about you, but one of the things that annoys me most of all, is that time at the end of every restaurant meal or end of night bar tab, when it’s time to tip my server. Now, having worked at a bar and a the officer’s club at a military base when I was in...
How Super Was The Super Bowl?
Every year for the last 50 years, the sports world, if not the world in its entirety, has stopped spinning long enough to tune into the world’s greatest athletic event – the Super Bowl. And this year was one of the best ever. It featured the Quarterback of the...
February Is A Black Mark On Black History
If you didn’t know that every single thing listed above was invented by a black inventor, congratulations – you just gave all the credence necessary to prove that keeping Black History Month on the calendar permanently, is a no-brainer. So thanks for playing...
Respect What It Takes To Get True Respect
There’s a classic scene in “The Godfather” when Michael Corleone confronts his younger brother Fredo, after learning that it was he that was responsible for the hit Hyman Roth attempted to take out on him. The part I’m referring to specifically is when Fredo...
The TSA Is Your Friend
If you travel by air as much as I do, being the International Manly Man Of Mystery that I am, I’m pretty sure I don't have to tell you how much just getting from one place to the other can be a major pain in the ass. It was always, thus. That asshole with the...
NFL Stands For Never Fan Loyal
The next time the NFL does something in the best interests of NFL fans, the cities its teams play in and the players – will be the first time.
Cranial Rectal Inversion Is Not An Option
It’s okay for you to do things your way. It’s okay for you to speak your mind. It’s okay to be opinionated. It’s okay to stand up for what you believe in. It’s okay for you to be yourself. It’s okay for you to do your thing. It’s okay for you to go against the...
Text Messaging Is Not Manly
If you’re a guy who wants to maintain his status on the Mantle Of Manliness: No Texting Allowed. With the following exceptions: To arrange sex. To discuss sex you had. To pursue sex. To order food. (NOTE: Food must contain meat, preferably bacon.) To taunt someone in...
Bruce, Is That You?
I don’t have any problem with people who have confusion about their gender and their gender identity. Hell, at times, I feel so damn manly, it almost makes me cry that I wasn’t born with three penises. (Now, I ask you, how much fun would THAT be?) How an individual...
Don’t Get Caught With Your Pants Down
If you do now, or if you have ever worn your pants baggy, laggy or saggy in any way, shape, or form – please don’t read this blog anymore and please do not recommend it to anyone else you know. Because there must be some mistake that you even know about this...
The Death Penalty
Many people who are against the death penalty are of the opinion that it’s not a deterrent. To which I say, it deters the offenders who are put to death from committing their crimes again, does it not?
Reality Shows Suck And They’re Not Manly
The only reality shows a manly man should watch is one involving a playing field, jerseys with numbers on them and scoreboards. If I’ve written about this before, it’s because I can never stress this strongly enough. Get caught watching or talking about any reality...
PC? or Mac?
Mac. End of discussion. Moving on…
Participation Trophies Are For Losers
Never, ever let your child think it’s okay to receive a trophy just for showing up. Sure, if they’re under 10, it’s okay to let your son or daughter accept a trophy. Just don’t ever let them think that accepting a trophy when they don’t place at least in the top 3,...
Manly Erection Rules: Rule Number One
Never waste an erection. Why? You never know when you will no longer be able to produce an erection. When that happens, the last thing you’re going to want to be reminded of, is the time you let one get away from you.
Manly Rites Of Passage: When To Tell A Lie
It’s always a good idea to tell the truth. Except, of course, when it’s a bad idea to tell the truth. Whenever that happens, tell a lie. The truth shall set you free, but a lie shall help you enjoy said freedom.